Whats alive inside of you right- right now?
What’s alive inside of me right now?
Big fat beautiful fear. Fear that tells me to stop and question.
Fear has always been paralysis for me. It’s kept me working at a job I hated, going to parties I hated, and doing things I didn’t want to but did out of temporary comfort.
Alive inside of me this morning as I write this: a fear.
A healthy fear. And yes it manifests as tensions in my body. In my shoulders, in my upper chest, in my breathing.
My tools today: full yogic breathes, deep inhales full belly and lung expansion, and deep exhales, slow and long. It’s soft music without words, and me plucking my ukelele. It’s taking naps and eating foods low in salt and other flavorings.
Being in Mexico living on a beach has bot been the vacation of a lifetime. It’s been deep work. Tears, anxiety, loneliness along with joy and happiness.
What is alive inside of me today is fear.
Fear just like hope, dark and light are two sides of the same coin.
Fear is a teacher that we despise but fear if we sit with it, if we sit with her, or him, fear will teach us.
The darkness we are running from will teach us if we only sit with for a while. Sit with that tension in your chest or back or in your breath.
I don’t want to be fearless. I want to be in allyship because fear will teach us to pay attention. To see the subtleties of life. Fear will teach us to feel how our bodies. To feel is when we cant see the truth of a story but we can feel something is not right in our spirit, giving us the subtle confirmation we need to act. Fear will ask us to question who we are, our morals, ethics, our integrity and if we need to redefine, reshape, and restructure our belief systems.
Fear will demand of us a change, and the courage to actually do it.
Fear is my sweet sister who I didn’t talk to for years out of labeling her a bad thing. He is the thing that I’ve tucked away in the back the room. The friend I decided to cut off and never speak to.
Fear is the reason I have deeper love and compassion for myself. Inner fear when placed in the right context is a language of love. A language that is translated to deeper self love and greater love and compassion for others.
Fear when we move outside of it is no longer fear. Just an experience like so many others
What is alive inside of you?